Please do not believe everything you see you on the internet because it’s a place where people post their highlights... not their reality.
If I can manipulate my body into this pose in a matter of seconds and you believed that’s what I looked like all the time because it’s all I ever shared on here then then I would be contributing to a huge problem on here.
It’s SO damaging and we don’t even realise it, scrolling past enhanced, edited and perfectly posed pictures all day on here can quite quickly make you feel you are not not good enough because you are comparing real life to something that isn’t even possible to achieve naturally.
So I made a conscious decision over lockdown to unfollow any accounts that are damaging to my mental health. Because you choose what’s on your feed, make it a place that when you scroll through you see real life.
Women and men are already under so much pressure and scrutiny as it is to fit the media’s ideal of beauty. So choose accounts which are going to make you feel amazing about yourself instead of comparing yourself! That negative self talk after scrolling through edited pictures is SO harmful, why do it? Instead, create a place in your social media where you feel you are worthy, you are beautiful and you are more than good enough.
Since doing that for myself, I’ve never ever felt better about myself.
And I’m not just talking about physical bodies, this can be down to lifestyle: all those Dubai holidays, designer items, new veneers, the perfect partner... everything on here is only the good things in peoples lives, no one is sharing the arguments they’re having with their partners, the struggle to purchase that designer item to keep up appearances, the brand new car on finance they struggle to pay off each month.
- if it’s leaving you comparing yourself then it’s a negative account for you to follow!
There are so many wonderful accounts out that can life you up, some of my favourites are: positivity quotes, meditation accounts, gratitude accounts, travel accounts, art accounts, healing accounts, self love accounts, interior design, meme pages (my personal favourite!)
Make this a positive place for yourself ????
SAME BODY, SAME SIZE...different pose
This is why before and after photos are not reliable... ANYONE can change their pose and completely change the way their body appears.
There’s no weight loss here or workout plan I’ve endorsed that I want you to buy into. It’s JUST clever posing.
On the left:
- popped hip
- underwear pulled high to waist
- stretching up my torso
- tensing my stomach muscles
- sucking in my waist
- arching my back
- pushing my bum out
- arm lifting my boobs
On the right:
I want to show you both images to remind you when you see those “before” and “after” shots that a lot of the time it’s all trickery.
And unfortunately this style of photo is used far too often to get people to buy into diet products that are so unhealthy and making you believe that you need to loose weight.
I can totally understand that see an image like this that is associated with a diet product would be tempted but it isn’t the truth.
So I hope this image brings you clarity and honesty next time you see a before and after shot.
And also a reminder, just because you don’t see you people sharing their relaxed bodies on here, it doesn’t mean they don’t exist. The highlights are not the reality. ????
You look amazing and you are worthy of feeling amazing in your skin ❤️
Lock down has a lot of us feeling body conscious about our bodies changing due to many reasons.
More than ever it’s important to feel good from within!
Wearing a well fitting set of lingerie with the perfect fitting bra can have a huge effect on your mood.
Make sure you use an online fitting room to get measured to your current size.
I am wearing @dejadaylingerie here, fitted by @playfulpromises. It’s so comfy!
You can use their fitting room to help find what bra size fits best so you can feel comfortable in!
#lingeriebodyready #adifferentperspective #feelplayful
Double standards ????
So I posted something on my stories recently which got A LOT of you messaging me with your experiences about this topic. It went like this...
Man: Could you take a hormone pill with possible health risks everyday?
Woman: Or you could wear a condom?
Man: Nah, that’s inconvenient...
How many times have you been in that situation before? Because I have.
Which makes me ask the question....Why is it that a women’s health is less of a priority than a mans pleasure?
Surely our bodies deserve the same respect?
So before you let a man pressure you into lowering the importance of your health to increase his pleasure.
Remind yourself... it’s your body = your rules.
You do not have to do anything to increase pleasure for a man... especially if it puts you at risk.
If a man can’t understand that then he’s not worthy of having sex with you anyway ???????? + ???? = ????????
Your body... therefore YOUR RULES. No one else’s opinion matters ❤️
This gorgeous yellow set is
???? is @studio_stoutpoep
Do celebrities and influencers have a responsibility to post “real” images?
After yesterday’s post... I really thought about what it means to be an influencer. Are people leaving my page feeling better or worse?
I know my content in the past was only posed and edited images which I know for a fact was making my followers leave my page feeling worse.
In fact it didn’t even feel good for me posting these types of images either because they were not the real version of me. My page was simply all highlights.
I know that the more confident and mature version of me now feels a huge responsibility to show truthful real images of myself however it took time for me to gain that confidence to show the “real” me especially when this app if full of perfectly posed highlights!
However, not everybody is ready to share the real them especially to large followings and I completely understand that. Although if someone has a big platform that influences lots of women and men daily... is it their responsibility to share more real content?
I know that so many young girls must be growing up thinking that the images on Instagram are what influencers and celebs actually look like in real life but they don’t. It sets off a horrible cycle in the viewers mind that they don’t look that way in everyday life. Therefore, not feeling worthy or good enough.
There’s no disclosure that there’s filters, edits, perfect lighting, posed bodies. If you don’t know about any of those elements that go on behind the scenes of a perfect Instagram shot... then you are going to believe that’s real life.
I would hate the thought my content is making any little girl out there feel she isn’t worthy because she doesn’t look like my enhanced and manipulated highlight. And if I did only post content like that still... I’d be responsibility for contributing to the problem.
So I’m interested to know... where do you stand on this? Comment below what you believe influencers and celebs responsibilities are when it comes to sharing content on here... ????????
Just seen this on @betches story and wow this breaks my heart because this is what is so wrong with social media. Khloe looks absolutely gorgeous in the photo, she’s happy in that moment and that’s what so beautiful about the image.
Allegedly, one of the assistants took the image and uploaded it by mistake (without editing) and the image now being hunted down and anyone who has it is being threatened with legal action.
But the need to constantly control, edit and adapt the images that the public see of the Kardashians has gone too far.
This is proof that Khloe is a human being. She’s a woman in a bikini smiling and there’s nothing in this photo that she should be ashamed of.
The fact that they’re trying to “kill” the picture just goes to show that majority of what you see celebrities post are edited and airbrushed photos. This is exactly the reason why you can’t compare yourself to celebs.
You are seeing all the highlights, never ever the images or videos they don’t want you to see. And often that’s all within their control on social media. So this is a good reminder that not everything you see on here is real. Khloe is gorgeous and this photo of her makes me RELATE to her. That’s what is lovely about it. It shouldn’t be removed, it should be celebrated that she looks like a real person ????
???? images taken from @betches story today.
Same person... a different perspective ????
When shooting this underwear I decided to set up two cameras to show you how a different perspective can completely change how my body appears.
1) the camera in my hand that I have creative control over how I look
2) the camera opposite me, which I don’t have control over how I look
It’s easy to contort your body into the best angel, pose and lighting when you can see the image you are taking. It’s like taking a selfie... you find the perfect lighting and raise or lower the phone to get the most flattering angle and voila... the perfect picture.
However, when you don’t have control over the image... it’s hard to achieve all of the above. You have zero control over how the camera is picking up the lighting, your angle and whether you pose is right.
When I first started this job, I used to struggle so much because I wanted to person behind the camera to tell me if I looked good. 9/10 they weren’t able to figure these tricks out for me. So often, I’d resort to mirror selfie’s so that I can have that control and see how to change the elements to work for me instead of against me.
However, after a lot of practise and time I learnt how to achieve flattering shoots when someone else was behind the camera. But that’s because it took years of practise and to this day I still might only get 2 or 3 shots from 100 photos where I nailed it.
And the problem with that is... if I only shared the 2 or 3 perfect shots I achieved on here... you wouldn’t realise that from a different perspective or angle I don’t actually look like that.
It’s a moment I managed to curate everything to work for me instead of against of me.
So here is... the other perspective, the shot I wasn’t posed for, the shot where I hadn’t found the best lighting or angel. I hope you learn to love this reality as much as I now do ❤️
How to feel good in jeans ????
- marks on your hips and waist are normal after wearing a pair of jeans (this happens to everyone)
- it’s normal to see your stomach relax and expand after wearing them (this again is normal!)
- wear stretchy jeans so your stomach can expand when you eat ????
- Remember you are beautiful ????????
These words resonate with me so much.
As a single female I’ve always felt so pressured by society to settle down with a “wealthy man” in order to secure a nice life for my future self and potential children.
“Find someone who when you have kids you don’t have to work and be a stay at home mum”
“Choose a man whose got a good career so you can be a housewife”
“You want to find a man who can financially support you”
But what if I am a rich man?
What if I don’t want to spend my life relying on a man to provide for me.
What if I earn more than any man I’ve ever dated and I can provide myself with anything I’ve ever wanted?
What if I believe in myself and know they I can achieve anything I put my mind too. I know what I deserve. Adapting the mentality of a rich man is far more important no?
I don’t want to have a life where I’m relying on a man to support me.
And that’s not to say that if you are a team and one of you is better at the career and the other is better at the full time parent role then that works for you!
That’s a teamwork mentality relationship where you both contribute your strengths to the relationship!
A partner is more than what their wallets holds, it’s who they are a person and how they’ll build a life with you.
Supporting you in others way, emotionally and mentally is what I value as important.
Personally, I crave my own financial freedom and independence because I don’t ever want to have to answer to anyone when it comes to my decisions.
It’s 2021 now and even though gender equality still isn’t close to being equal. Ladies... our mentality, thoughts, confidence and power is almost there.
Once you become “a rich man” for yourself, men have nothing to offer you but loyalty, love, respect and time. Those are the qualities we should (if we want to) be encouraged to seek. ????❤️
Don’t let someone’s “highlight” effect your self worth.
Everybody posts their best shot, the photo they liked the best, that got their best angle and flattering lighting. And that’s okay.
When that’s all we see on social media, we forget that the reality still exists for everyone.
Just because people aren’t showing their stretch marks, cellulite, hip dips, lumps and bumps it doesn’t mean they don’t have them? It means they’ve chosen the highlight picture that concealed these things
And what do we expect after all the years that women’s bodies have been under such scrutiny in the media. Of course we’ve been conditioned to only post the highlight.
But why don’t we forget about what we’ve been told and be brave. Brave enough to accept ourselves and say... this is me and this is beautiful.
Because your stretch marks are beautiful and of course normal and so is your cellulite.
Every woman has these qualities - it’s literally part of being a female. So let’s embrace it. Make it normal to see it shared on social media.
Because the media’s standard of perfect will forever be changing with trends and our bodies are not trends. We are human and let’s start showing what literally makes us human and be proud of it ????