Instagram Alison Sudol

my kid took this 🇮🇹

California Christmas

my sweet mama friend Sandra has a fantastic small business and this jumper is the perfect cozy winter gift - find her at @steencollection xxx

Last night my dear @leithclark invited Hanna + I to a special screening of @sankles jaw- droppingly powerful film, Witches. I went into it suspecting it might open some doors but I didn’t know how deeply it would hit me in the pit of my heart, ringing me like a bell till I shook in my seat. The courage it takes to make a film like this is mind-boggling. It explores maternal mental health in a way I have never seen. I wish I had seen it before I gave birth. Maybe I would have been more prepared for how completely and utterly shattered and out of my mind I felt in those first months of motherhood. Maybe I would have felt less crazy. And I was lucky. I made it through. So many women struggle silently, dragged into a terrible, private darkness. Broken sleep, raging hormones the life-altering, jarring transition into motherhood… even the immensity of the love is almost too much to bear. There is so much stigma around maternal mental-health, but this film leans into that so fiercely, so powerfully- what women have to hide, why, and what it costs. Watching it was painful but liberating. Too many women suffer and do not get help because they are afraid. And this has been happening for centuries. Women were persecuted for hundreds of years for this, or for trying to help their sisters, their neighbors. The healers, the midwives, the struggling mothers, labeled witches. Destroyed. Their stories are still with us, steeped in the silence, unsung, unable to be released while they remain hidden. This film gives those women a voice. It feels so deeply healing. Balm. A light in the darkness. Thank you @sankles for sharing your story. Watch it with your mothers, your sisters, your coven. @mubi @thevioletbook

it’s halloween and it’s diwali, and it’s been a strange old energy over here. light and dark bumping up against each other all day, life and death. my children vacillating between joy/ howling. big one so bravely handed out candy to big kids at our door, so patiently honoring our agreement that one single bar of the great big bag would be theirs tomorrow afternoon (when sugar crazies can be run off at the park) while little one kept snatching the brightly colored sweets, trying to hide them behind their back like we couldn’t see. I love them so much it catches my breath… I found out someone I knew passed away suddenly- the news keeps sliding over me. I can’t take it in. How does one make sense of death? It doesn’t make any sense. One day you’re chatting nonsense, the next and they’re gone. The fireworks are going off and I can’t help but think about the many places this sound means the opposite of celebration. I would ordinarily go straight to guilt + shame, a survivor’s guilt extending to all of humanity. But does that help anyone, really? When life is so fleeting, so precious, really, mustn’t we celebrate what we can? Can that be done without abandoning the grief? What would light be without darkness? Now, I took this picture two nights ago, after something happened that might have changed the course of my life. This moment showed up, I met it with the fullness of my being + I wanted to mark it. But then I looked at the picture, annoyed at the mascara under my eyes (from rubbing them again + again in sheer wonder), embarrassed at the thought of posting something which could not materialize into anything + blah blah. So I didn’t post it. But because writing even when I feel dumb about it is the new thing I’m trying, because I needed a picture and all the Halloween photos I have of my kids have their faces in them + I don’t do that on here, well I’m using this one of me mug. Now that moment has found a way to be marked, which feels like betting on my own horse. A prayer of sorts: may that day indeed change the course of things, may I keep learning to hold hands with light + dark, and may our friends go into the shimmering skies, into the unknown in peace.

my head is so far from my legs right now

roots n boots x

We lost our Baba early Saturday morning. She was 100 years old, so strong, so brave. The more I learn about her the more I realize how little I knew about her… she loved weird gadgets and was better at computers than any of us, was the main reason I started using Twitter, was an incredible golfer, was involved in five Olympics, raised four children with a husband in the Marine Corps which must have been impossibly hard. She lived through so many enormous shifts in the world and took it all in stride. I thought I was prepared for her to go for years, said my goodbyes every visit expecting them to be our last, but still, I’m devastated. These photos are from the Moon video, my favorite day with her of my life. We sat and gazed into each other’s eyes, woman to woman, holding hands as I kneeled at her feet, a flower crown in her hair, surrounded by most of the most important women in my life. She was so present, so full of unwavering, radiant love… life has not been uncomplicated in our family, but this was simple, just so dearly simple. I carry this in my heart forever. Onto the next adventure you go, my dear baba x

see you Saturday @medicinefestival @bhume.official x x x

The reviews are in and 'Can't wait to make this film my new personality' is a pretty accurate description of how we are feeling today ????

Press play on the cast of #BonusTrack! ????▶️

very early wig tests before we figured out Queenie #fantasticbeasts