Got the former, and soon to be again,
surgeon general of the United States on my podcast, to discuss his excellent book on loneliness. After last year, and the holidays, and the days ahead, and actually... let’s be real... the days before this pandemic... we need to discuss loneliness. Vast majorities around the world feel increasingly lonely and scared to discuss it. I have struggled with it a lot in my past and never reached out in my darkest moments because I thought it was my fault and that nobody would understand. I later found out how MANY of my friends were going through the same thing. And when reading research on it, how many humans are struggling so much. If you are lonely, or you think someone else may be... please give this episode a listen. @drvivekmurthy is a soothing breath of fresh air, and helps to normalize this unnecessarily taboo subject.
Some of my loneliest moments were when I was a famous young it girl, going to all the coolest parties, being photographed with all the faves, and smiling on red carpets... you never know who is going through it and you never need to judge yourself for your circumstance or project an idea of failure onto loneliness. Some of the big “success stories” on your timeline are struggling with loneliness just as much as those who don’t seem like they “have it all together.”
We are all in this shit together.
TW: mention of eating disorders.
I Used to think I looked “too fat” in this picture. I had starved for three weeks and worked out compulsively before this shoot. Eating disorders are a terrible and upsetting thing. This is why I bang on and on about diet culture, because it was my slippery slope to losing all sense of reality and all of my time, energy, sex drive, and joy. If you want to change your body, to get bigger or smaller or more muscular, then you do you. But Christ, do it slowly, carefully, fully informed by healthcare practitioners and certified experts. No quick fixes. You aren’t broken, and lasting change happens incrementally and sensibly. Journal your feelings and look out for signs of Associating food with guilt, shame, anger or failure. Listen to the words you say to and about your body in the mirror. Ask yourself if you’re following people online who make you feel nourished and excited, or shamed and afraid... ask yourself why you’re making these changes? Who is it for? What do you think will change in how you feel? Would you ever tell someone you love and respect that they need to meet the same body goals to be allowed to feel good and confident? Do you have a safe and sustainable plan? Is it ok if your body doesn’t end up obeying your fantasy because maybe that’s just not how you’re supposed to be built? If it isn’t ok, then why? Why is what our clever body wants and needs not a priority?
Just be careful. And unfollow anyone who promises you fast change. They do not give two shits about your physical or mental health. They just want your money, your fear and your naïveté. When we fund the diet/detox industry and it’s devil influencers... we directly fund patriarchy.
Is that what we want?
Ps. A big old ????????to the Navajo princess caption. I was not remotely in control of the editorial. This was 10 years ago and I’ve not seen this magazine make similar comments in recent years.
Well done. And also... thanks for listening to my podcast. That was QUITE an emotional learning journey we went on together. I was very up and down. And I loved every message each of you sent about it. X
We did it. We made it through. It was terrible but we are still here. We are legends. I’m going to bed. I love you.
Ps. Don’t go out tonight. It isn’t worth it. Save lives by staying in. Save your own life. Let’s start 2021 safely, wisely, eating snacks in our beds.
Tell me a GOOD thing that happened to you this year.
My Monday evening ritual this month: parked on the couch watching the newest episode of A Suitable Boy on @Acorn_TV! Have you been watching?? I’ll be hosting a finale party on IG Live next Tuesday January 5th at 5pm PST/8pm EST, so there’s still time to get caught up & you can snag a free 30 day trial using the link in my bio & code JAMIL30. Happy watching & see you next week! #AcornTVPartner
This Christmas please join me in donating to @chooselove where you can buy blankets, supplies, PPE, medicine, school supplies, nappies, sanitary products, legal support and so much more, for the people who need it most in the world.
Josie’s story on my podcast will blow you away, fill you with hope in humanity, and make you want to get up and change your life for the better. Just a few years ago she had a comfy job in show business, saw what was happening to human beings trying to flee for their lives, and decided to do something about it. She has gone on to help 1 million refugees so far, and has raised so much money worldwide to support them in helpful, loving and dignified ways. I cried twice during the episode out of being moved by her spirit and story. (And I’m British! We do not traditionally cry.)
It’s pure beauty. Give her a listen and please please support this EXTRAORDINARY charity where everything you buy goes STRAIGHT to the refugees to meet their needs.
Link in Bio.